The therapist nodded.  Then he began to list off all these things that other people had probably said to me:  “Oh, he couldn’t be that bad.”  “You’re over-reacting.”  “You need to be understanding.”  “But he seems like such a nice guy.  Why would you think him capable of such terrible things?”  And so forth. I sat there stunned. “That is what other people are saying to you, isn’t it?” he asked. I told him yes.  “The problem is,” he told me, “that you did not have a normal marriage.  There is no way you could possibly explain your marriage to lay person in five minutes.” Holding the Mirror (The Life of One Narcissistic Enabler) By Miranda Shaw - Chapter “Listen to Your Heart” http://www.angelfire.com/home/mirandashaw/index.html