As the adult child begins to recognize the truth of her own wounding with the NPD parent, she can begin to heal and grow. Healing and growth will be reflected when: The adult child can validate and empathize with the thoughts and feelings that are expressions of her authentic self and mourn the loss of these opportunities in childhood. The adult child can develop protective boundaries – asserting  limits on the entitlement demands and devaluing behaviors of the NPD parent.,, The many lost opportunities to explore and know the self are important to grieve.
The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists by Eleanor D. Payson, MSW

Being a Rainy Day Person on occasion is a good thing. Making it a way of life is stupidity at best - suicidal at worst. It’s an empty existence, where one lives vicariously through others, finding identity in their admiration because you were taught that complete selflessness was your gift to the world and anything less made you worthless. That is what a narcissistic parent teaches you. You only have an identity when you do something they can admire without being threatened by it. This is why Narcissists often produce other Narcissists. The child is taught that what matters above all else is how others see you. My mother stated this often; she also had another stipulation - what she thought was more important that what anyone else thought. In other words, her view of her children was suppose to be the only one that mattered, but we also had to give her something the rest of the world could praise her for. My mother’s needs were paramount. Nothing else took priority.
Holding the Mirror (The Life of One Narcissistic Enabler) By Miranda Shaw - Chapter “Rainy Day People”
http://www.angelfire.com/home/mirandashaw/index.html

A declaration of independence will be effective only if you have an internal commitment to work hard to obtain independence and a willingness to accept the consequences. Simply declaring independence isn’t enough, especially if you cave in because you cannot tolerate the consequences. Your parent will also be working against your obtaining independence.
Children of the Self-Absorbed, Nina W. Brown

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents
http://www.voicelessness.com/loveenough.html

There are, however, some other things it is pretty safe to say about the normal children of narcissists. One is that they are likely to tolerate narcissists. When you grow up with things, you have no way of knowing that they are abnormal. You think that some people "are just like that." You're trained to tolerate it, because to do anything but is a sin. You're even brainwashed into thinking it's your fault. You have no way of knowing that everybody's home is not like yours, that you are growing up in a home headed by somebody who belongs in psyche ward.
The Important Stuff – The Children of Narcissists
What Makes Narcissists Tick by Kathleen Krajco
http://www.operationdoubles.com/narc/index.htm

When you grow up in a dysfunctional family, you experience trauma and pain from your parents' actions, words, and attitudes. Because of this trauma you experienced, you grew up changed, different from other children, missing important parts of necessary parenting that prepare you for adulthood, missing parts of your childhood when you were forced into unnatural roles within your family. For some of you, it has led you to attempt to flee the pain of your past by alcohol or drug use. Others of you feel inexplicably compelled to repeat the abuses that were done to you on your own children or with your own spouse. Others of you have felt inner anxiety or rage, and don't know why you feel as you do.
When You Grow Up in a Dysfunctional Family by George A. Boyd
http://www.mudrashram.com/dysfunctionalfamily2.html